Welcome to a small corner for said and unsaid words, stories, and everything else…
I still don’t know how one gets born as a human. Of all the trillions of combinations and possibilities in the space-time continuum of this universe, it is phenomenal that we get to be humans. There must be something unique, something right that must have happened for us to be alive right here, right now. But, what is even more incredible in my life is not that I got to take birth as one of those humans, it is actually that you are also alive right here and right now and I got to meet you and be with you. That’s just unbelievable. One of those rare things nobody believes if it doesn’t happen to them, as did I. So, among all the astonishing phenomena that you have been, you are and you will be, your birth was a thankful beginning. May you have many more such beginnings! And I may get to witness that. Happy Birthday, bale!
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Indeed, not for so long. All it took was a really stupid idea. A daring one, in my defense. A temptation that eventually got the approval of the universe. A palpable urge to take a little peek into the most amusing world. A kaleidoscope of possibilities. Confidence to bridge the longing with destiny. Or perhaps, after all, all this was inevitable!
Longing is the cure… until you meet.
There is a strange sense of comfort in this chaos. An unusual warmth to this cold and a surprisingly secure feeling in this lonely mess. I know most people hate this. This damp. This disordered world. But subconsciously, mostly unknowingly, biological life seems to be like this. At least the biological life we managed to dig up until now (although some of them are really frozen because of immense pressure and temperature (sure, you may think of dinosaurs), evidence never denies they didn’t particularly enjoy this. So, I’ll assume.
We complain. We complain about this unpredictable mess. But we smile.. When a stranger pass by while he’s just straightening his tucked-in shirt with one hand. When that little girl took a pause to gather her confidence and also her leg strength before jumping over that puddle. When a young lady put her hand back to search for the flower, she was wearing in the morning… And you remembered, you picked up one just before a vehicle crashed it. More often than we admit, we smile!
It all looks like a big mess. Crowded, even. Someone told me the other day, the most expensive thing we buy today is distance, more space, private entrances, more leg room, wish that a middle seat goes empty, always check the private pool option. Ironically, distance is expensive, and all of us are distant. Of reality, of loved ones, of empathy.
Not today. This chaos is squeezing us in. Voluntarily, we are inching towards the next person. That warmth is just right to escape this. There is a freshness to this air. It feels more transparent than usual. The smell brings her memories back, and before she realizes, it’s the neighborhood where they sold ice-creams. He’s wearing a crisp dress. He knows it’ll be crumpled within minutes. He wears it anyway. It’s calm. It’s not quiet. The café looks like a step toward heaven. Maybe, after all, we find order in the chaos.
To begin with, for you to exist, trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create the exact you. It’s an arrangement so unique and certain that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years (I hope) these tiny particles will uncompromisingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely special but generally underappreciated state known as you (or your existnace).
Why atoms take this trouble is a bit of a puzzle. Being you is not a gratifying experience at the atomic level. For all their devoted attention, your atoms don’t actually care about you-indeed, don’t even know that you are there. They are mindless particles, after all, and not even themselves alive. (It is a slightly distrubi). Yet somehow for the period of your existence, they will answer to a single overarching impulse: to keep you. Now I don’t know why do they do or why do you exist. But it’s my privilege that I share this time and space continuum with you (every version of you even at the atomic level). That’s all I ever know and want about this existence.
Drifted through the window I’m warm rays of yellow And you by my side whishpering I am here for you I fall in love once again I little more Everytime
A little more, everytime.